Roy Burns vs Axel Palmer
Roy Burns vs Axel Palmer is a What If? Death Battle, featuring Roy Burns from the fifth film in the Friday the 13th franchise facing off against Axel Palmer from the 1981 slasher film My Bloody Valentine. Description Friday the 13th vs My Bloody Valentine. Which copycat will lose their heart when two tragic villains who took on the identity of their town's local legend square off in this battle of the underappreciated slashers? Other Thumbnails What-if Death Battle Roy Burns vs. Axel Palmer.jpg|Venage237 Prelude (*Cues: Wiz and Boomstick - Brandon Yates*) Wiz: Trauma, it's something everyone has to go through at least once in their life. Boomstick: Because, face it, life is just unfair that way. Wiz: But, sometimes trauma can be so intense, that it can drive people to commit unspeakable acts of violence. Boomstick: Such as with the case of Roy Burns, a.k.a. Impostor Jason. ' ' Wiz: And Axel Palmer, the successor to Harry Warden. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE! Roy Burns Busts into DEATH BATTLE! (*Cues: Man Behind the Mask - Alice Cooper*) Boomstick: *singing* Oh, but he's back He's the man behind the mask And he's out of control-''' Wiz: Uh, Boomstick. '''Boomstick: Not now, Wiz. I got this one. He's silent, he's violent, and he's got one seriously catchy theme song. He's one of the most infamous horror villains of all time. He's the world's most pissed off goalie! He's Jason Voorhees. Now, If you don't know Jason's backstory, then you've probably been living under a rock, but here's a little refresher. Little Jason was born in the town of Crystal Lake, New Jersey. Born from Pamela Voorhees and Elias Voorhees, Jason's life already started out shit. He was born with Hydrocephalus, a disorder that messed up his face and mental disabilities, but at least he had a caring mother. In fact, Pamela was so caring that she isolated Jason from society because she was afraid that the town would make fun of him. And it turned out that she was right, because when she took Jason to Camp Crystal Lake, the other campers bullied him relentlessly. They even threw him in a lake, where unfortunately little Jason would meet his end after drowning. Grief-stricken and angry, Pamela vowed revenge on the counselors that failed Jason and murdered multiple people in order to keep the camp from ever opening again. Until she got her head cut off by the final girl. It just so happens though, that Jason didn't die, and was actually living in the forest. Like some kind of hermit survivalist. Why Jason never tried to reconnect with his mother, we'll never know. But, Jason witnessed his mother's death from the forest and tracked down his mother's killer and yeah... Long story short, Jason killed a bunch of people, died multiple times, came back from the dead, went to space, fought Freddy Krueger, and a whole other bunch of ridiculous shit. Anyways, let's get to the awesome stuff, the killing! But, first I need a drink from all that exposition. (*Boomstick pulls out a beer and takes a sip*) Wiz: *facepalms* Boomstick: What? Don't you have any input, Wiz? Wiz: Why yes, I do. Roy Burns was a paramedic in the town of Pinehurst, New Jersey- Boomstick: Woah! Woah! Roy Burns? I thought we were talking about Jason Voorhees? Wiz: I tried to tell you before, but you wouldn't listen. Today's DEATH BATTLE is between Roy Burns and Axel Palmer. Boomstick: Are you sure? Because judging by the thumbnail, it looks like we're doing Jason Voorhees vs Harry Warden. Wiz: Yes! Boomstick: Okay. Well, lucky for you, I know my Friday the 13th lore. Wiz: *mumbles* Saystheguywhocan'ttellJasonapartfromRoy. (*Cues: Eyes - Friday the 13th: A New Beginning*) Boomstick: Anyways, Roy Burns at some point in his life had a child with an unnamed woman, but Roy's lover died while giving birth. As a result of losing her and feeling unfit to be a father, Roy abandoned his son and left him to be bounced between foster homes. Wiz: Eventually, Roy's son ended up at Pinehurst Youth Development Center, a halfway house for mentally disturbed teenagers. Unfortunately for Roy, he would meet his son again, but not in the way that he wanted. You see, one day, Roy's son, whose name is Joey, angered one of the teenagers at Pinehurst, and that teen proceeded to...chop him up with an axe. Being a paramedic, Roy responded to the scene and had the misfortune of seeing and having to take care of the body. Boomstick: After seeing the chopped up remains of his son, Roy snapped and irrationally blamed the halfway house for his loss. And boy, when Roy seeks revenge, he sure as Hell is determined to get it. He dressed as Jason Voorhees and started killing some random people in town. Including two Grease rejects named Vinnie and Pete who were having car trouble. Hehehe...that guy's head lit up like a Christmas tree. Hallelujah, Roy. Wiz: While seeming like random murders at first, Roy actually did this so he could make the killing spree look like the work of the recently deceased Jason Voorhees. He even studied various news articles involving Jason in order to imitate him. (*Cues: His Eyes - Pseudo Echo*) Boomstick: Good thing, he had the skill-set and brutality to back it up. Despite looking pretty scrawny, Roy's actually stronger than your average human. He can cut and stab through flesh with ease, stab through sheets of metal, throw a 165 lbs man through a window, lift a teenage girl with one hand, and cut off a man's head with one swing from a meat cleaver. Royburnsgeorgethrow.gif Royburnsmeatcleaverdecapitation.gif Royburnsouthousepoker.gif Wiz: He also has a good deal of endurance, given he killed 12 people in one day, and was able to keep chasing Pam and Reggie, even after being hit with a tractor. Boomstick: Speaking of which, Roy has some serious pain tolerance. He shrugged off being slashed in the shoulder with a chainsaw, which probably isn't something a normal human can do. Wiz: Like most horror villains, Roy seems to possess a good degree of stealth and forethought. He was able to sneak up on two of his victims in a forest. You know, a forest, where normally you can't move a single step without making a sound? Boomstick: Actually, he did make a sound, but by the time they had time to react, it was too late. Wiz: Too bad for them, given that Roy can turn pretty much anything into a deadly weapon. Boomstick: Though, he mainly sticks with a machete, he uses quite a variety of weapons; like the aforementioned meat cleaver, an axe, garden shears, a railroad spike, a fuckin' road flare. Hell, even a leather strap is deadly in this guy's hands. Royburnsleatherstickkill.gif More Coming Soon Axel Palmer Mines into DEATH BATTLE! (*Cues: The Horror of Valentine Bluff Suite*) Wiz: The small town of Valentine Bluffs was a peaceful community, known for being the town with the big heart and hosting an annual dance at the Union Hall celebrating Valentine's Day. Boomstick: But, that would change one fateful Valentine's Day in the year of 1960. In the town's local mine, five coal miners were trapped after an explosion caused by methane. Wiz: During the six months it took to rescue them, one of the miners killed and ate the others to survive. When they finally rescued him, he was committed to a mental hospital. Boomstick: Yeah, but it turns out that the explosion wasn't just some accident. It was actually the result of two reckless supervisors who forgot to check the methane levels before leaving to get ready for the dance. Damn, how'd these guys even get a job if they could forget to do something as simple as warning their co-workers that they just let one rip and not to light a match? Wiz: Boomstick, you do know that methane doesn't just come from humans, right? Boomstick: Yeah, but come on, seven men down in a mine. You can't tell me all of the methane came from the coal they were mining. Wiz: That's...true. Anyways, unfortunately for those two supervisors, the surviving miner came back one year later on Valentine's Day and..... Boomstick: Killed them with his pickaxe, dug out their hearts, left them in candy boxes at the Valentine's Day dance, and warned the town to never hold a dance, or he would return and kill again. Wiz: Little did the town know that said miner unintentionally created a carrier of his legacy and curse. (*Cues: Trapped In The Mines Suite* From 51:00-52:23.) Boomstick: That carrier was one of the supervisor's sons, Axel Palmer. Turns out little Axel was hiding under the bed and saw the whole thing, even getting covered in blood from the ordeal. Ahh..fathers...it's hard to keep them around and it's even harder to keep them alive. Wiz: Despite witnessing possibly one of the worst things a child could ever witness, Axel turned out fine, all things considered. He got a job working as a miner, made friends, and even got into a relationship with a woman. Boomstick: And that's probably cause the town kept that promise and stopped celebrating Valentine's Day for twenty years. That probably helped Axel heal a bit. Wiz: After twenty years, the town thought it was safe enough to start celebrating again. Surprise...Surprise, it was a terrible idea. Boomstick: But, what came next wasn't what everyone was expecting. Because, it turns out that Harry Warden, that's the original miner, died five years prior to 1981. So, really it was Axel who had disguised himself as Harry Warden and started killing people in order to to...to...to...Why'd the hell he do it anyways? Wiz: Why Axel copycatted Harry Warden is still debated to this day. Whether being possessed by Harry Warden's spirit, developing a split personality, or seeing a heart tattoo on a woman's chest made him snap doesn't matter. The point is, he snapped and went on a killing spree. Leaving a trail of heartless corpses, blood-soaked candy boxes and warning notes in his wake. (*Cues: Bleeding Hearts Still Beating Suite* Boomstick: Speaking of killing, Axel is surprisingly good at it. Wiz: Being a coal miner, Axel has the strength and endurance of an athlete. In his fight with TJ, he was able to stagger him with a single punch and while dressed as Harry he was able to catch up to Sarah and TJ on the mine carts without tiring. Boomstick: But, he doesn't just have the strength and endurance. He's also got skills. Particularly in brawling, the knife game, melee combat, and playing the harmonica. Wiz: Was that last one really necessary? Boomstick: Yes. Yes, it was. Wiz: Anyways, Axel does possess some degree of stealth. Though, it does seem that he prefers the method of surprising his victims and then chasing them down, rather than attacking them from behind, he is capable of sneaking up on people. Boomstick: When he goes in for the kill, Axel uses his trusty pickaxe. Which he can easily impale people with. Wiz: Comparing the length of the pickaxe to Axel, who we know is 6 ft tall, the handle to his pickaxe is an estimated 3 ft. Which is the average length of a pickaxe. So, this must mean Axel's pickaxe weighs about 2.5 lbs, the average weight of a pickaxe. Boomstick: But, if he gets disarmed, he's not completely screwed. As he's got a hunting knife holstered to his belt that he can pull out at any time and uses for the knife game. Hey Wiz, what's the knife game? Wiz: Uh, it's probably best that I didn't tell you. Boomstick: Fine. I'll just go look it up on my own. Wiz: *sighs* Don't say I didn't warn you. Anyways, tune in next week for the full episode. Time for a DEATH BATTLE! Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, now let's settle this debate once and for all. Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE! DEATH BATTLE After taking care of his son's body, licensed paramedic Roy Burns slits his partner's throat and hides him in the back of the ambulance. Instead of blaming the Pinehurst Youth Development Center, Roy only holds one person responsible, and that's Victor J. Faden. With revenge on his mind, Roy drives to the state prison that Vic is being held in. East Coast State Prison, midnight Recently imprisoned serial killer Axel Palmer is sitting on the floor in his cell, facing the wall, rocking back and forth and singing the same thing over and over again. "Daddy's gone away, Harry Warden made you pay." The song echoes throughout the prison, incurring the wrath of many of the prisoners. As he continues to sing, the other inmates angrily yell threats toward him. "Shut the fuck up or I'll bust through this wall and rip your head off!" The inmate in the cell to the right of Axel's hollers. Axel pays no mind to the threats and keeps on singing. "Daddy's gone away, Harry Warden made you pay." A prison guard finally responds to these complaints. "What's the problem here?" One inmate responds. "We're all trying to get some sleep here, and the new guy's singing is keeping us up." Various inmates start yelling, backing up the other. "Alright, alright. I'll make him be quiet." The guard walks towards Axel's cell, readying his baton. He bangs the baton against the bar of Axel's cell. The bar makes a long claaaaang sound, but Axel doesn't even turn his head. The guard swings the baton harder at the bar, making a longer claaaaaaaang this time, still no reaction. Now, fed up with the lack of respect, the guard unlocks the cell and walks inside. After hearing the sound of the cell being opened, Axel stands up, still continuing his singing. The guard walks towards Axel and is about to hit him, but Axel turns around and catches the baton with his left hand. With his right hand, Axel delivers a punch powerful enough to stagger the guard. With the guard slowly regaining his composure, Axel takes the opportunity to grab the guard by the neck and smash his head against the bars. He continues smashing the guard's head against the bars, until his head is nothing but a bloody mess. After killing the guard, Axel sneaks to the Evidence Locker and uses the guard's key to find his mining gear. He dons it and uses stealth to kill a few other guards. Roy arrives at the prison, dons his Jason outfit, and steps out of his ambulance. Fight (*Cues: Bloody Beginnings - Brandon Yates*) , edited by me.|332px]] K.O. Outcome The winner is... Original Soundtrack The track for this fight is "Bloody Beginnings" by Brandon Yates. It is a track that starts out reflecting the emptiness of being in a mine, while slowly invoking the stingers commonly found in both Friday the 13th and My Bloody Valentine. As it picks up the pace, the track starts to use 80's-like beats, reminiscent of those found in His Eyes. The bloody in the title refers to the series Axel is from (My Bloody Valentine) and beginnings refers to the title of the movie that Roy's from (A New Beginning). The title also refers to both of the characters' tragic pasts. The track cover features Roy's mask with a heart drawn in blood behind it. (A reference to one of the movie covers for My Bloody Valentine) Disclaimer: This is not an actual track by Brandon Yates. It's just a concept I made for fun. Next Time Will one of the most sadistic and despicable horror villains finally meet their match, or will his opponent become the first of his newly built Collection? Polls Who do you think will win? Roy Burns Axel Palmer Who are you rooting for? Roy Burns Axel Palmer Trivia *The connections between Roy and Axel are that they are both tragic serial killers who were traumatized by the murder of a family member and they both copycatted their town's local legend because of their past trauma. Both are also often second fiddle to their series' mascots; with Roy's being Jason Voorhees and Axel's being Harry Warden. *Boomstick mistaking the battle for being Jason vs Harry is a reference and joke about how little known Roy and Axel are. Despite being the main antagonists of their movies, Roy was not well-received, and Axel is most of the time just referred to as Harry Warden, with some even believing that Harry Warden possessed Axel. Category:"1980s themed" Death Battles Category:Axe Vs Swords Themed Death Battles Category:"Blood" themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Horror Themed Death Battles Category:Human vs Human themed DEATH BATTLEs Category:Main Antagonist Duel Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:'Movies' themed Death Battles Category:Panzysoldat Category:"Scary" Themed Death Battles Category:Season Premiere Category:'Serial Killer' Themed Death Battles Category:'Villain vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Work in progress